Monday, October 31, 2011

A Year In A Kilt. What Can Possibly Go Wrong?

"Every man dies. Not every man really lives." Mel Gibson as William Wallace in "Braveheart"

When one is about to turn 50, one starts thinking about topics like living and dying. Truth be told, one probably starts leaning a little heavier toward the "dying" thoughts but I suppose that's natural. As for me, well, I hope I have a lot more living to do and what better way to celebrate the remainder of my living than by doing something I've never done before?

 I admit I've never been much of a daredevil kind of guy. Skydiving and bungee jumping don't appeal to me. I don't have the finances to run out and buy a Lamborghini and I don't have the energy to get tanked and marry a 22 year old reality TV star in Vegas (hey, don't think they aren't lining up for the chance...). I prefer to celebrate in a more laid-back fashion. Still incorporate the danger of skydiving, the style of the Lamborghini and the romance and sexuality of the Vegas marriage. What else could capture all of these things better than wearing a kilt for an entire year? You knew I was going to say that, right? Well it's the title of the blog for haggis' sake!

Oh. One other confession. I've never owned or worn a kilt before. For many years I've wanted to own one but they always seemed so expensive and I never go to enough Celtic festivals or Renaissance Faires to make it worth it. The majority of my heritage is Scotch/Irish so I've always had the kilt on my list of things to purchase one day but always put it off. Recently I was making a mental list of things I would like to do after I turn 50 and I thought about wanting to buy a kilt. One thing led to another and I suddenly thought, "What if I commit to wearing a kilt every day of my 50th year?" Next thing I know, I did just that. I committed. In front of someone else even. I guess that means I gotta do it. Yeah.

After a little research I discovered there are some companies that make very affordable kilts. They may not be the traditional 8 yard wool kilts that some Scots believe you have to own to be in their snobby little "kilt club" but they're good enough to allow you to pull up the pleats in the back and tell those guys to kiss your pasty-white arse! That's good enough for me. Suddenly I find myself with seven kilts hanging in my closet. I'm all stocked-up now for my adventure! This is gonna be fun! Or really, really sad.

Oh, yeah. The adventure. Let's discuss that briefly.

My plan is to wear a kilt every day of my 50th year. I turn 50 on April 27, 2012. That will make the adventure expire on April 27, 2013. I don't want to discover things during the actual year of my adventure that may shut down the process so I plan on making several "trial runs" beginning January 1, 2012. There is no sense in being completely overwhelmed during the year. I feel I could use a few "warm up passes," so to speak. I will make occasional kilt-wearing excursions beginning with the first of the year which I hope will give me the required experience and testicular fortitude necessary to be a dude wearing a skirt every day for a year. Yes, I'm  nervous about it. This blog will document my feelings, my encounters, my adventures, my failures and my successes. I encourage you to come back and read the blog on a regular basis and give me encouragement and support. God knows I can use the support. If... you know what I mean...